A new year always scares me and excites me at the same time. A chance to do all the things I always wanted but never did. Start fresh be the person I think I'm deep down. I must confess I have been on an emotional roller coaster the last 17 months. I ended a 21 year marriage,started a new life all alone for the first time ever on my own, met someone which I never expected to do so soon, got remarried and started a new life again! Oh the psychologists would have a field day with me!I guess I should cut myself some slack for feeling a little scared for what this year will bring.
I'm being brutally honest here being remarried again is hard. There is so much baggage from previous lives,kids,and just the getting settled in thing. Everyone thought I was crazy for leaving my long term marriage. Sure from the outside everything looked good but there is more then meets the eye. I'm not writing this to bash anyone because I still talk to my ex he was their when we grew up together, knows a lot of my secrets,fears, and really does give great advice. Which Mr.SN and my ex's new love interest don't always understand.Which I must say I'm not sure I would be so understanding if this were reversed.
I guess with the holidays gone now and a lot of the pressure off from that I'm just sitting back and taking it all in. I really do look forward to see what new things we will experience together,how we will grow, and I know there will be ups and downs.No life is perfect or no person for that matter.
So as I sit here writing this hoping I haven't scared anyone away it just feels good to put it all out there and realize I maybe struggling right now to get it all together but at least I have here to lay it all out and get feedback. I feel with all of you are a wealth of knowledge and support. I know we really don't know each other and only get a small glimpse into each others lives but it feels great to have this outlet.
So thank you for taking the time to read my posts and leaving the thoughtful comments it truly makes my day! Traci